Proverbs 18:21

Once upon a time there was a man called Mi who had a very special gift: whatever he said with his mouth comes true. His nation prospered because of him, and no harm could come on any of them because he said so.

One day an enemy came from the north, and its general stood up on a hill and said to him, "We have an army of ten thousand and one men! Our arrows will blot out the sunlight, and you will be dead before your lips can utter our defeat!"

"Oh really?" Mi said, scratching his head, "What if you don't have arrows to shoot with?"

In an instant, all their arrows snapped at the head and disintegrated into the air. Ten thousand and one men started to flee in seven directions all at once. All was good.

Then another enemy came from the west, and this time the King stood up on a high place and cried out, "Even if our legs turn into jelly and our arms into butter, we will overtake your city and burn it to its roots!"

Mi stretched in his chair and yawned. "Sure," he said sleepily "Would love to see you all try to do that with legs of jelly and arms of butter"

What followed is too violent and graphic to be put into words, but what was important was that all is still good for Mi. Before he could close his eyes, another enemy came from the south, and the commander stood on a high platform and spoke into a megaphone.

"We know your weakness, Mi!" The commander said with a smug look on his face, "So we have plugged all our ears with wax and cotton - you cannot defeat us now!"

This got Mi's notice. He stood up and saw three hundred men with their ears plugged with cotton and wax; they could not hear a single thing. The commander from the south laughed maniacally before resuming his poker face and gave a battle cry, "Now, we attack! CHAAAARGEE!!"

No one moved.

Mi cocked his head to one side and gave the commander a pitiful look. The commander seemed quite confused at this.

"I said, CHAAAARRRGEEE!!" He shouted again. Again, no one moved.

This went on for a few hours before they finally gave up and went back to where they came from. Mi was about to resume his nap when another army came from the east, armed with sharp sticks and nasty-looking wooden mallets. This time, no leader came forth with a challenge, but the men in the front line raised up a banner.

Mi squinted at the banner. "I... lost... my... voice" He read out loud the bright yellow words on the banner. He shook his head at the idiocy of people nowadays. Surely anyone would know that yellow words on white was impossible to read. Mi opened his mouth to bring hail, fire and sulphur upon the army that disturbed his afternoon nap.

Only a croak came out.

Oh, shoot. He thought to himself as the army started charging.